Entertainment » Movies

Steam Room Stories: The Movie

by Roger Walker-Dack
EDGE Media Network Contributor
Sunday Sep 22, 2019
'Steam Room Stories: The Movie'
'Steam Room Stories: The Movie'  

The one dependable thing about director J.C Calciano's LGBT comedies is that they are very easy to watch. He never tries to over-complicate them, and within the first 10 minutes you know the entire plot. You also know he will never deviate from it, unless he can add in a scenario from which he can mine another cheap joke. Think "10 Year Plan" or "eCupid."

This latest "boy-lite" movie, "Steam Room Stories: The Movie," is like an episode of his successful web series that has simply been stretched out into a 90-minute feature. It's the story of an aging cosmetics queen, Sally Fay (Traci Lords  camping it up to the nines), who wants to find the Fountain of Youth.

She discovers it is an a California Gym where very few people seem to actually work out and simply hang out in the steam room all day — which, surprise surprise, she believes (like so many gay men have for decades before) will keep you young forever.

Her dastardly plan is to get hold of the gym, which has a financial crisis, but she first has to overcome the opposition of a group of pretty washboard stomachs who are half-naked for most of the movie, and possess about one brain cell between them.

She sends in Neil (Eric D'Agostino), her sweet and handsome gay assistant, to work undercover and to devise a plan. But naturally, faced with so much naked flesh, he soon has plans of his own. 

"Steam Room Stories" is as hammy as hell, with more than its share of limp dick jokes, but if seeing cute young men wearing nothing more than skimpy towels with jokes even thinner is your thing, then no doubt you'll love it. But, trust us: The  search for eternal youth is really no laughing matter.

Roger Walker-Dack, a passionate cinephile, is a freelance writer, critic and broadcaster and the author/editor of three blogs. He divides his time between Miami Beach and Provincetown.

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