How To Subtly Express You're A Part Of The BDSM Community

The kinky community is a very close-knit one, and most people know about most people. But there are so many fun groups and so many circles we have yet to fit into. Let's say we don't want to go online to look for your next bratty Sub or Daddy Dom to avoid the creeps, but you would like people to know - subtly. What are the signs to display - and to look at - if you're trying to pass as or spy a fellow kinkster?

BDSM Fashion And Accessories

What can be easier than expressing yourself through the way you look and style your fits, huh?

Discreet Jewelry

Rocking the right jewelry can be a cool way to drop hints. A sleek collar or a lock necklace can be a subtle signal. It doesn't scream BDSM, but those who know will know.

Symbolic Charms

Pendants or bracelets with symbols like the Triskelion (a popular BDSM symbol) are amazing for keeping things low-key but meaningful.

Personal Items

You can find discreet BDSM-themed keychains and wallets. These items are useful yet personal, ideal for subtly sharing your interests. They're also great conversation-starters for people who recognize the symbols.

Kinky Clothing Choices

Your outfit can say a lot without being loud. By choosing the right materials and style you can also give a hint about what you are up to.

Leather Or Latex Accents

Leather belts, wristbands, or boots can hint at your kinky side without being too obvious. Latex was super indicative of the wearer being in the BDSM circles, but now mainstream fashion has popularized it, so it became discreet, too.

Prints

Maybe not in the subtlest of ways, but wearing a T-shirt that says "BRAT" will look very signifying for those who know and just cute and funny to those who don't.

BDSM Tattoos

Your ink may symbolize involvement, identity, or relationship dynamics within the BDSM community.

Collars and Chains

Meaning submission and ownership, often used to mark a Dominant/submissive relationship.

Locks and Keys

These represent control and protection, which are common in Dominant/submissive dynamics.

BDSM Triskelion

A symbol representing the three pillars of BDSM: Bondage/Discipline, Dominance/Submission, and Sadism/Masochism.

Initials

Tattoos of a partner's initials to signify commitment and connection.

Safe Words

Discreet tattoos serve as reminders of consent and communication.

Body Language And Communication

Dropping some low-key lingo in conversations can work wonders. Saying you're "kink-friendly" casually can be a nice hint. For example, if someone mentions a party or social event, you could say, "I hope it's a kink-friendly crowd!" It's subtle enough not to raise too many eyebrows but clear enough for those in the know to catch on.

Mentioning events like "fetish fairs" or "kink conventions" in passing can signal your interests. You could casually talk about how you enjoyed a recent event or express excitement about an upcoming one.

Behavior And Gestures

Little things like bowing your head slightly when greeting someone can be a subtle sign. Incorporating submissive body language in social interactions, like maintaining soft eye contact or using deferential language, can communicate your role without saying a word. Those familiar with the lifestyle will recognize these nuances.

Social Media

Use your social media game to show your kinky side without being too obvious. Follow BDSM-related pages, groups, or influencers. Your followers will pick up on it. Post something like a simple selfie suddenly casually showing some shelves with your collection of best vibrators or collars, or floggers. Add symbols like the lock emoji or the Triskelion symbol to your bio for a discreet hint.

Home Decor

Hang artwork or posters with a BDSM theme that isn't too explicit. Look for pieces that have subtle nods to the lifestyle, such as abstract depictions of bondage or minimalist representations of key symbols. For a subtle touch, keep books or movies about BDSM on your shelves.

Show Your Kink Proudly

Letting folks know you're into BDSM doesn't have to be super obvious. A few subtle hints can help you connect with other kinksters while keeping things on the down-low. It's all about striking a balance between expressing yourself and keeping it chill.

Stay cool, stay respectful, and most importantly, stay true and proud of yourself, and you will surely attract same-minded people!